This can make you feel bad because your partner has no idea of the negativity that is going on in your head and strangely you feel like you don’t want to share it because that might mean the problems could be sorted out and you feel that you need to leave.
The basis of all of this is FEAR – fear of commitment.
Entering into any romantic relationship thinking you can change the other person is a bad idea.
Negative – in your head you start to trash everything about the relationship – they don’t really understand you; your tastes are too different; sex might be better with someone else – every part of you seems tuned into collecting evidence to prove that this relationship is no good for you (or your partner) and you would be better off on your own or with someone else.The good news is that it doesn’t necessarily mean that you are with the wrong person and should break up with them – it would be far better to stay and face the fear.If you don’t work it out in this relationship it is just going to come up again in the next one. Maybe you have issues from childhood as a result of parenting that was not stable or emotionally supportive.“Phobia” is a word that carries a negative connotation, implying irrational, even neurotic, fear. If you or your partner feel unsettled at the idea of settling down, it may signal nothing more than the need to let more time go by before considering an exclusive relationship.But you should be careful before accusing your partner, or yourself, of being “afraid” to commit. Rushing to nail down your future together may paradoxically poison it—if the time is not yet right.